The moment when I realize writing makes me happier than anything else in the world..even chocolate ~lenise

A new thought
that is an old thought
unforgotten

not held back
not pushed down

Lifted up
Ascended

.
.
.
.

Q. Lenise Lee
.
.
..
.
I want to rest 
but 
my mind
doesn't cease
probing
the known universe
Awake and in sleep
always searching
Seeking
the portal
to the unseen, unknown
cosmos of the All

The words echo
Don't explain
just do
Follow
your will
to the beginning
of
something new
Stop living 
in the moment
after
Live and be
in the moment
that is right now

Looking
for clues
Asking
for understanding
fulfillment
peace
in my mind

So
I write
until 
the world 
first breaks
then expands
then opens
Freeing
me
Revealing
the ultimate truth

I
am
the narrator
This
is
all
my creation
.
..
.
.
Q. Lenise Lee
to have

this love
that
no one can accept

this light
and
no one to receive it

this open heart
where
no one may dwell
.
.
.
.
Q. Lenise Lee

From the Mind Journal of Shaylise Stafford

There is light
a flash
engulfing darkness
overwhelming stillness
absolute silent
Time is frozen.
I am frozen.
Or do I exist anymore at all?
I do not know
All I have is this thought
I am
I am here
somewhere
nowhere
everywhere
or
Am I the thought 
that someone else is having?
You are
You are there
and so am I
A pop
a flash
then there is light
blank soft light
Everyone is gone
but
I am not alone.

.
.
.
.
.

from By Moonlight: A Post Apocalyptic Fairy Tale by Q. Lenise Lee. Copyright 2021. All Rights Reserved.

By Moonlight 4.1c





Ethan knew that mercy was not in their spirits and, if he were ever captured by them again, they would keep him alive to bleed him out slowly, one cut at a time… over decades, centuries eons, if necessary… whatever would make him suffer the most, until his very last breath.  And then they would call him back to life, and do it all over again.

Q. Lenise lee
The clouds gathered in the distance, dark and terrifyingly alive with static and energy.

From below, Ethaniel and Shalise watched as the high blue sky disappeared behind the descending chaos. Dakken hovered nearby, a silent shadow beneath the long barren branches of the ancient elm tree. The children sat in the dust near a dilapidated car, rusted nearly to only strip metal and bolts.  They held hands and kept their eyes closed tight, as if in deep prayer and meditation.

A reckoning was upon them all.  Elder gods do not die, they are only reborn darker and more powerful. 
 
Ethan and Shay had nearly destroyed a very ancient, very powerful coven, and now those very same beings, crushed under the tons of rubble and ruin of their toppled home, had risen.  They were the violent energy pushing behind the storm pulsing closer toward the outnumbered outcasts.  

Mother and Father had kept Ethan as a son, had given him all the rights and cruel privilege of their abysmal ancestry, and he had turned on them, fiercely and without hesitation. And now his former guardians had returned, much faster than he had anticipated, angry and hungry for revenge.  Ethan knew that mercy was not in their spirits and, if he were ever captured by them again, they would keep him alive to bleed him out slowly, one cut at a time… over decades, centuries eons, if necessary… whatever would make him suffer the most, until his very last breath.  And then they would call him back to life, and do it all over again. There would be no end to his torment.
 
Shay had risked everything to save Ethan.  She could have easily left him to die in the dungeon, but it would have been the same as sentencing her own self to death.  They were linked, beyond physical bonds.  Their blood, their thoughts, their powers, their very lifeforce flowed as one.  She had never sensed so much, been so aware of the flow of energy all around her, until Ethan touched her that fateful night in the dive bar.  It was as if every cell in her body had suddenly awakened for the very first time.. She had felt every stripe of the whip the torturers had inflicted upon Ethan as if the sting had touched her own body each and every time.  The truth was clear and simple, Ethan and Shay were bonded for life, and beyond. If he died, then so would she.  And now, they were facing the same fate again.  She wasn’t prepared to fight again, and neither was he.  They didn’t understand what they were capable of together or the full extent of their abilities.  But they would have to learn quickly, time was not on their side.
 
Dakken was the coward of the group. He had sensed the trouble in the basement, when Shay had escaped and went to rescue Ethan.  He had heard the yells of guards frantically trying to subdue the couple.  He had felt the walls of the house tremble.  He warned no one; only disappeared into the twilight of the early morning, saving himself and not a single other soul. His true allegiance was to himself and his duty was, first and foremost, to his own survival, and for this he had broken a sacred oath to lay down his life for the dark ones that he served.  He had failed them, and now his life was once more in terminal danger.  The sentence for treason against the elders… death without trial. Instant. Painful. Humiliating. Death. Over and over again, forever.
 
The children were different.  They were the only truly innocent party here.  Or were they?  Where had they come from?  And how had they survived in the daylight and even during the nightmares of nightfall on their own for so long?  The thought again passed between Ethan to Shay, but there was no time to wonder about answers.
 
Time was up.   
 
The gun metal grey clouds flowed over and under each other, like quicksilver, or a snake filled with poison, alive and full of dark magix.
 
And then the lightning bolt flashed.  Bright and blinding.  Striking inches from where Dakken hid in the shadows of the tree.  And just like that, day was night, black and dangerous.  
 
Everything went dark around the couple, and then the howls started.  The screeches followed.  The darkness had called out to those who dwell within it.  The light of the sun kept them cramped in basements, buried behind dirt piles, hidden in the boarded ruins of buildings and other dwellings.. but now.. now that the sun was gone, they began to burst forth and pour into the chaos of the sudden nightfall.

Ethan and Shay moved closer and pressed their shoulders together. The pale skin of Ethan’s broad shoulder pushed into the warm flesh of Shay’s slim brown one.  On instinct, they touched hands and held tight to each other.  Electrified chaos began gathering all around them.  But they had defeated the dark once before. Together . As one force, united.  And they could do it again.
 
But how many times?  How many times would they have to become a whirlwind of power?  How many times could they do it?  Was this an infinite gift?  Or would their luck be up one day?
 
Snarls circled closer, ravenous sounds meant to inspire fear and wild pulses.
 
Shay and Ethan planted their bare feet deeper into the dust, powering up and readying themselves for the first attack.
 
And then…there was light.
 
Not a burst nor a flash, but a brilliant blue funnel of swirling light.  A column of illumination that lit up the dark and blew back the wild things that were roaming there.
 
Ethan and Shay stumbled back as they turned, startled, covering their faces from the powerful brightness, nearly as white hot as the glare of the noonday sun.
 
It was the children.  Engulfed in a blue flame, still hand in hand, eyes closed, they were the beacon of last hope.
.
.
.
.
 
 
from By Moonlight, An Apocalyptic Fairytale by Q.  Lenise Lee
 
Copyright 2021 Lenise Lee Pubn.  All Rights Reserved.
 
I don't think I have ever wanted to cry, for this country, before today
How low, so low, we have sank, further, beneath the waves

The question is not, 
How did we get here.
We have been here, for quite some time, maybe since the beginning.
The question is,
How do we do better?
I called out to the universe.  
.
And the universe spoke back. 
.
In that moment. For the first time. I heard my own voice.
.
Self said to self. Welcome. To who you are. And who you will be.
.
.
.
Q.
I was alone, 
so I whispered to the wind. 
And it became a breeze 
that traveled to distant shores
blanketing the trees,
with dew from my tears 
a vast forest grew
That burst forth with fresh flowers,
whose petals circled the earth. 
Before landing on my windowsill,





with a simple note. 
XoXo. 
To Q. 
From you.
.
.
.
.
Q.







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Keys doors paths aligned.

Questions unpacking my mind.

Finding the way out.

.

.

.

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Q.

.

.

.

.

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I want

to feel,

something

more

than what the barriers, of this world

will allow.

.

.

.

.

Q.

.

.

.

.

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So I write, to the universe. I write, to creation. I write, to the Author, of All Things. For an answer. For a cure. To what ails, the heart. What, sickens the soul. Knowing, I am, the answer. I am, the cure. For what, binds me. I write. Until, I can breathe. I write. Until, my thoughts, unlock. I write. And write.. and write. Until, I am, me. Again.

.

.

.

.

Q.

.

.

.

.

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.But I use my pain, to create energy. And that energy, makes magic. And that magic, fills the world, with wonder. And that wonder, ignites Light. And that Light, lifts souls. Out, of darkness.

.

.

.

.

Q.

.

.

.

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I’m a love story kinda girl. I love stories. About defying odds. Saving the day. Rising to the occasion. Moving mountains. Hurtling barriers. I love stories. About Lovers in sync. Destinies intertwined. Stars aligned. Lips locked. Hearts pounding. I love stories. Where I am. The narrator of my life. Living out every possibility.
.
.
.
.
Q.
.
xo

.

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.

.

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Let me accept the power of who I am

the energy that flows through my bones

the strength and resilience of my spirit

the hope and determination that beat hard in my chest

Let me live every moment, and love every moment that I live.

A prayer.

.

.

.

Q.

I keep,

waiting, for

the answer,

but,

I already

have,

the answer

Instead,

I keep,

waiting, for

something,

to point

me,

toward, touching,

the answer,

And then,

I saw,

a blank sheet,

before

me

There was, no veil,

there was never, a veil,

Only, a blank,

a very blank,

canvas,

waiting,

wanting,

expecting,

demanding,

pleading,

hoping,

to be,

filled.

.

.

.

.

by,

nightmares,

dreams,

of my,

choosing.

.

.

.

.

Have I,

chosen

yet.

Q.

.

.

.

.

creation is, a blank canvas

my mind is, the brush

I must paint.

To see, the patterns

In all, things,

Every, where

To understand, them

To be wise, with them

To find, the way, through them

To see, the Mysteries

To fear, Myself, no more.

.

.

.

.

.Q.

My third eye opens to a fourth, dimensions unfold and expand

I must not allow, these things

to infiltrate, my heart

disrupt, my mind

distract, the movement, of my spirit

All things pass, expect, those which are

Right and true.

I choose now

which I stand, in the midst of

.

.

.

.

Q

From the Mind Journal of Ethaniel, Crown Prince of Shadows

…I do not dream.

I have never dreamed.  If I did so as a young boy, I no longer hold those memories anywhere in my mind.

Even when I was still like the others, trapped between the chains of the dusk and dawn, I did not sleep.  I prowled.  I wandered.  I tormented and tortured.  I stalked.  I fed the pleasures of my flesh.  I starved the want of my soul.  Because it was my destiny, it was my right, it was my heritage.. or at least, that is what I had been taught.

During those long, dull hours, just after the sun touched the sky and before the howling packs were set free after twilight, I roamed the castle halls.. In search of.. I had no idea what..  I did not hunger.. for food, anyway… I did not need sexual gratification, but I would take it if the thought plucked my mind.. most of all, I did not sleep.  My handlers, Mother and Father, ensured that I was always always ALWAYS  at my prime.  In peak physical and mental condition at all times.  When I was a boy, a lashing for every time my eyelids fluttered close.  They watched watched WATCHED me constantly.  Looking for any flaw or any reason to punish me.  Training.  That’s what they called it.  For what glory is to come.  When the dark ones return.  But it was just relentless torment of a child who become a monster.  A monster who needed to feed on… whatever his wicked heart desired.. until.  That night.

The moment she burst through the doors, running from some unknown creature of the night… I sensed her… I smelled her… I craved her… I knew she belonged to me.  It was a rush more intense than anything I had every experienced.  It was the most perfect moment I had ever felt.  The pull of destiny.

She fought.  She fled.  She didn’t back down from the strength of my former… companion…  There was no fear in her.  Even with death’s blade barreling down upon her, she was already a true queen, ready to face the end with eyes open, a brave heart, and a steady hand.

Shay.

I do not sleep.

Yet, here I am.  In a dream.  Shay’s dream.

The feeling is uncomfortable.  Surreal.  Not being in control.  I am always in control.  Except that is no longer true.

My will is no longer my own.  It is hers.  To protect her.  To watch over her.  To follow wherever she leads.  I am hers, more than she is mine.  Is this what the ancients called, Love?

I have no time to contemplate this question.  We are not alone.

Though all is ink dark on every side, I know they are there.  I can see them; even though they are the unseeable ones.  No mortal may lay eyes upon them.  But I am no mortal.  I never have been.  I am something new.  I am what they had hoped to spawn.  For untold eons, my arrival was foretold.  Yet, I am not what they had expected.  I am a disappointment.  I can sense their anger… and fear.  My potential has been wasted.  My purity tainted.  Because of… her.  They loathe… and fear… her for what she has done to me.  She has turned my vision away from them and on to something more.  Something outside of their control and influence.  My eyes are looking at the dawn, but not their dawn.  Hers.  And those like her.

I am five steps behind her.  She does not know I am here.  But she does sense their presence.

They circle.  They plot.  They watch for a moment of attack.  But they cannot.

She is more powerful than they had anticipated.  They come so near, only to have to retreat.  She… or something else… is blocking their path.

And then.  Then it arrives.  Descending like a raging storm.  They all shriek and fall back.  They know not to interfere.  They have done their best, it will do the rest.  It will end her.

On instinct, I react.  My heartrate accelerates.  I feel my pupils dialate.  My body begins its change.  The change that was once the harbinger of doom for all that lay unfortuneately in my sphere.  But I am no longer confident.  Is this transformation to harm?  Or to help?  But harm who?  Help who?  The answer is no longer clear.  I am no longer their servant, so is my change to fight it?  Or assist its deadly rampage, about to break a terrible wave upon Shay?

I would never harm her.  Never.

I will myself to choose.  Choose now.  Choose who I will serve.  Choose who I will…  Love.

I chose her over all else before.  I can…I will… do so now.

I will fight.  I will die, if need be, for her.

The air turns dark… much darker than before.  An electric rage swirls around us.

It is closing in.   She stops moving, and so do I.   We do all things in sync.  It is an instinct we have now, undeniable, and unchanging.

I move my arms forward.  I am trying to grab her.  Pull her back, behind me.  Although I know we are strongest when we fight together.  It is my own instinct to want to protect her, to take on the hardest hit from this storm first.

But I cannot reach her.  She is only five steps in front of me, but in this nightscape it may as well be five hundred.

The atmosphere charges to its highest peak.  Our thoughts are one.  She is not ready.  She cannot stand against this enemy.  Perhaps later.  But not now…. can.  Because I was spawned from the will of this creature.  But I cannot position myself to save her.

My heart syncs.  My muscles tighten.  My nails dig deep into the palms of my fists.  I feel my teeth grinding down hard.

I cannot save her.  And this is the first time, ever in my life, when I am afraid.

And then.

The world around us goes motionless, soundless.

A grey dawn descends.

Shay and I are whipped from the nightmare.

Remember these things.

The message is for her.  I think.  I am not sure.  Are they speaking to me also?

My eyes blink open.  Dusk is rapidly descending.  The monsters will be on the move soon.

And then I think… Where are the children?

.

.

.

.

.

From By Moonlight : An Apocalyptic Fairytale by Lenise Lee

Copyright Lenise Lee Pubn, All Rights Reserved.

Sidenote

I think about my grandma, alot.  One of the last things she said, on what was probably her last trip outdoors.. at least, in this version of the world, in this concept of reality, of creation.
She said, look at the sky.  Look how blue it is.  And the sun.  It’s so warm..
I never forgot that moment, or those words; the purity, and honesty in them..
It took me some years afterward, to finally come to the conclusion, that I didn’t want to waste anymore moments inside.. The mental box we create for ourselves, or the real boxes the world says we should dwell in, for most of our best and brightest hours.
And now, here we are.  No longer proverbially trapped in the box, but literally.
So much time spent trying to brainstorm over the walls and around the borders, to ascend across limits and beyond mere moments..  Just to be told, where we are safest, where we have always been safest..  Is in small rooms, with small thoughts, and big distractions, to keep us from dreaming of what’s outside..

Auto Draft

I am, trying, to be, poetic. Which only, makes this, harder. To let time, slip by. But, it never does, really. Instead, now, more than ever, I am, wandering,  away, with my thoughts. Circling. For there are, no more, corners to turn, nor, places to be, and, be unseen. We are, all where we are, and, nothing more. Somehow, is this, a herding, ultimate dulling, of the masses, of the mind, of the will. For when, we willingly, become prisoners, no escape, is possible, and, no bars, necessary. What, oh, what, are we, truly, becoming.

Standing in the delicious chill, early morning fleeing elsewhere
Grey dawn overhead, hot mug in hand
Birds worshipping the new day, squirrels restless with play
Awake, awaken, awakening, I am.
.
.
.
.
Q

borrowed and blue

fleeting and fickle

anxious and amazing

wandering and wanting

exciting and ethereal

…the energy and magnetism, of life unfolding

.

.

.

.

Q

 

From the Thought Diary of Shaylise Stafford

…I am being watched.

I can feel their presence, just out of view.  The corner of my eye catches movement.

I had not dreamed in many years.  Not since I was a young child.  Not until that night.

The night when everything changed.  The night when Ethan stole me away from my life.  The night when I realized that I was so much more than an unknown, barely surviving server in some gawd-awful bar.

This is a dream.  I have had so many times since then.  I almost have it memorized.

I am being watched….

From somewhere in the darkness, they are there.

This is a dream, I reassure myself.  But I know, at the core of all that I am.  This is not a dream.  This is as real as any other moment in my waking life.

I am wandering through an ocean of dark oblivion on all sides.  Yet, I am not alone.

They watch.  They study.  The observe and take note.  Some dare to come too close.  And that is when I sense them.

I am not supposed to know that they are there.  But I do.  My bones stiffen.  My muscles tense.  My mind’s awareness goes razor sharp.  I am aware of all things, everything, even them, all at once.

Somehow, I can see them also.  Flickers of shadows only.  But they are definitely within my visual perception.  And they are the unseeable ones, this I know on instinct.  They are never meant to be observed by mortals; their presence is only to be a mere passing thought.  A shudder, a chill.  A superstition to be shushed and shamed.  Never spoken of aloud, only by children, who have not yet learned the closed-mindedness of the adult world.

But I am no mortal.  I never had been.  Neither am I like them.  This worries them the most, I can tell.  I am something new.  Something they had not expected.  At least, not so soon.

It was Ethan who activated this dormant gene within me.  It was his sudden appearance in and disruption of my world that forced to me to become what I had always doubted and denied.  To become my truest self.  The self within the self.  The highest self.  Needed for a specific purpose, to win a very specific battle in an eons-long war.

His nearness.  Even before we had laid eyes upon one another, we were instinctively aware and bound to each other.  This is the call of fate.  The pull of destiny.

In a blanket of black, I wander.  Confused.  But not frightened.  I feel my breathing pick up pace, my eyes widen as I search deeper into the dark.  Something is coming.  Fast and furious.  The prickle in the air is electric.  And I know, as my heart sinks, I am not prepared for what approaches.  It is too soon.  I am not ready to face the fight coming my way.

And then, suddenly, my awareness lifts.  A new presence has arrived ahead of the enemy on the dark horizon.  A grey dawn quickly descends.  And I am in the land of the dark no longer.

Before I am yanked from the world of dreams and nightmares, where the true veil is lifted, four thoughts are planted in my mind.

Remember these things.

My eyes flicker open.  There is still some daylight left, and then the animals will be out soon, prowling the open night.  Hunting season.

Then I remember them… Where are the children?

.

.

.

.

from By Moonlight, An Apocalyptic Fairytale by Lenise Lee

Copyright 2020 Lenise Lee Publications, All Rights Reserved

 

These things,

must not change, who I am

nor stear me, clear of

the call of Destiny

For all things,

small and great, weak and mighty,

can become moments

of clarity

of uprising

of the true Spirit

that drives, the evolution of

my Becoming

Me.

.

.

.

.

Q.

I was sleeping, and now I must awaken

A Queen among men

A Goddess among mortals

I will Rise again

.

.

.

.

Q. Lenise Lee

By Moonlight 4.1b

Children.

A sudden noise from near a broken down wooden pushcart caught there attention.

All three turned toward the sound of terrible creaks and crackling, the sound of old wood being disturbed after a long sleep.

Their instincts kicked on high, each awaiting the moment to attack whatever hid behind the dusty barrier just in front of them, less than five feet away.

Shay and Ethan touched minds, silently powering up.  It was a natural instinct now, to unify their abilities as one.  They would always be more powerful as one.

Drek held deathly still.  His shadow long and lean, as though he were not there, merely a piece of the scenery.  No words of magic were as powerful as deluding the mind into believing there was nothing there to be afraid of, never preparing itself for the attack that strike at any moment.  This was his greatest strength, stealth.

And then they appeared.  The children.

They stepped from behind the cart and stood in the full light of the overhanging sun, which should have been impossible.  They were hand in hand, calmly composed with serene looks upon their young faces, as though the world around them were not made of ash and dust and dirt and creeping things waiting to kill all who chanced near them.

The boy, dark-skinned with thickly coiled light brown hair, was about ten years old; close to Ethan’s age when Mother and Father, his handlers, had taken him from his home, had pulled him from the arms of his dying mom, the last survivor of his real family.

The girl, fair-skinned and red-headed, was slightly younger, perhaps eight, around the same age as when Shay realized that the world she was born into was somehow not right.  Though she had known no other life, she had always sensed the way things were were not how they were supposed to be, that something at some point, long before she was born, had gone terrible wrong.  A twist set in motion by the Fates, if there were such beings.

For a moment, all were silent, all stared, none moved.  They were like an aged portrait from some forgotten nowhere, left to dry and droop in the harsh sun.

It was the boy who spoke first.  He spoke, clear and to the point, yet his thick full lips never moved.  “We are alone.”

The other three knew this was not true.  Though there was no other living thing to be scene at this high-day hour, except the five who stood here, there were sleepings – or hiding – beings all around them, sheltered in place til dark.

The girl was next.  It was the same, her voice was perfectly pitched, but her pink mouth did not open as she said the words.  “You do not need to fear us.”

Still the other three made no attempt to reply.  This could easily be a trap.  The Elders were not done with them. Perhaps they had rallied and returned sooner than anticipated and were not using some illusion to get Ethan and Shay – and even Drek – to let their guards down.  All eyes stared, all minds remained focused.

Then, finally, it was Shay who took a chance, against Ethan’s wishes.

No, he warned her across their mental bond,  don’t.  They are not true children.  There is no way they would be able to survive standing in full sun like that.

That is the reason why I am doing this, Shay replied, they Elders cannot do this kind of magic.  Not even they are powerful enough to override the power of the sun on human skin.  We thought only we could that.  And since that’s not true anymore, we need to know who they are… they could be allies, Ethan.  And we need as many as possible now… even Drek.

There was still hesitation in his mind, but he understood her points.

Ethan nodded toward Shay and then she turned to the children.

“Who are you?”  She spoke with real words this time, so that Drek could also hear her.

The tiny pair in unison this time, aloud using their lips to release soft and flowing words that touched the ears of the other three ever so lightly as though a breeze had gently floated near them, wrapping them in both calm and unease at feeling such a quiet calm.

“We are your friends.  We have come very far.  We are here to help you.”  They stepped forward a few more feet, flooding their faces in even more bright midday sun, nearly illuminating their beautiful and delicate features.  “We must be quick to move,” they continued as one, “There are enemies on the way.  And they will arrive ahead of dark, clothed in the energy of the dark storm.”

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from By Moonlight, An Apocalyptic Fairytale by Q. Lenise Lee.  All Rights Reserved 2020.

Sometimes, I am a free spirit, flowing with answers, the purest lake filled with living water

I capture the essence, harness the power, imagination, creation is born,

and I know, truly know, I have become, what I am, truly.

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Q. Lenise Lee

balance and energy.

the call of the universe,

pulling us to greater heights.

the spirit of the universe,

pursuing us into our wildest dreams.

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Q. Lenise Lee

A small moment in the vastness of all that is.

But, most assuredly, it is Glorious.

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Q. Lenise Lee

As we learn

together,

gathering Balance

in between moments,

focusing light,

moving as one

with the Universe,

establishing the course,

Meaning unfolds

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Q. Lenise Lee

I listen to the morning,

to the morning song

It says,

be careful, be vigilant, be aware but

Always

be bright, be amazed, be present

in the moment

Filled with love and laughter

words of encouragement

ears eager to embrace

heart of pure energy

spirit radiant and divine

movements right and true

Always

be you.

A gift, a blessing,

focused and refined

(against the creeping darkness)

Bright, piercing Light

reborn to

Shine anew.

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Q. Lenise Lee

I am.

Reborn in the morning,

settled at eventide.

In balance.

As one,

with the Universe.

All things that were.

All things that are.

All things that will be.

I am.

Art and artist.

Creation and creator.

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Q. Lenise Lee

I have a vision in my mind, of

Everything.

Existence.

Eternity.

Reality.

All

things in between, and

outside of

them. And then

I write

simply

carefully

BOLDLY.

I am.

I will

BE.

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Q. Lenise Lee